Mary Stocks lived a full life, finally passing away at age 94.
Stocks touched many in her life, according to her obituary. Her son, Sandy, decided to take things into his own hands.
“Everything I could think of about my mother was funny. I didn’t want to write a really boring obituary,” Stocks told the “Today” show. “I did it more for my family, so they would have something to remember her that would be fun.”
The obituary is indeed pretty funny.
“She was a master cook in the kitchen. She believed in overcooking everything until it chewed like rubber so you would never get sick because all the germs would be nuked,” it said. “Freezing germs also worked, so by Friday our school sandwiches were hard and chewy, but totally germ free.”
“All four of us learned to use a napkin. You would pretend to cough, spit the food into it and thus was born the Stocks diet. If anyone would like a copy of her homemade gravy, we would suggest you don’t,” the obituary added.
“She left behind a hell of a lot of stuff to her daughter and sons who have no idea what to do with it,” Stocks wrote of his mother. “So if you’re looking for 2 extremely large TV’s from the 90s, a large ceramic stork (we think) umbrella/cane stand, a toaster oven (slightly used) or even a 2001 Oldsmobile with a spoiler (she loved putting the pedal to the metal), with only 71,000 kilometers and 1,000 tools that we aren’t sure what they’re used for. You should wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch. Tomorrow would be fine.”
“She leaves behind a very dysfunctional family that she was very proud of,” it added.
Sandy says his mom would have appreciated the humor, and people around the world have enjoyed reading it.
Another Humorous Obit
Sybil Marie Hicks from Ontario passed on Feb. 2 at the age of 82, and before her death, she worked with two of her children to pen the obituary.
“It hurts me to admit it… but I, Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away,” the obituary in the Hamilton Spectator said.
“I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side February 2, 2019 at 8:20 a.m.,” it added. “I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately referred to as a ‘Horse’s [expletive].’”
Best Obituary Award Goes To Sybil Marie Hicks.
“I finally have the smoking hot body I have always wanted…having been cremated.”
RIP Sybil https://t.co/7RcYBE8vmm
— SquarePegInRoundWorld (@LeeanneS1977) February 6, 2019
She also said she left behind “children whom I tolerated over the years; Bob (with Carol) my oldest son and also my favorite. Brian (with Ginette) who was the Oreo cookie favorite, Brenda AKA ‘Hazel’ who would run to clean the bathrooms when she heard company was coming.”
‘Best Obituary Ever’
And a North Dakota man’s obituary is short and sweet.
In The Forum newspaper on July 1, Douglas Legler (who died on June 27, 2015) had the obituary, “Doug Died.”
— WTAE-TV Pittsburgh (@WTAE) July 2, 2015
And no, that isn’t a mistake, his daughter told InForum.com.
“He said over and over, when I die I want my obituary to just say ‘Doug Died,’” Janet Stoll, the daughter, was quoted as saying.
“(Other people’s obituaries) would say ‘he was the president of this, a director of this’ and Dad would say, ‘What, couldn’t they hold down a job?’”
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Author: Jack Phillips